Suicidal Tendencies

One of my youngest brother’s friends, Z, tried to kill himself last night. He tried to jump off a building. Good thing, the rescue workers we’re already there to catch him. Poor kid…

Ironically, his mother had already dropped by our house earlier that evening looking for him. When I got home, my mother asked Eron about his friend and then a discussion ensued about how Z had been acting weird for the last couple of weeks. He’d been asking money for his stepdad who was at the hospital and also for their electricity bill. He was also exhibiting anxiety about a personal matter at school, saying that someone was out to kill him. He’d been staying out late, not eating or sleeping, and purportedly roaming downtown at the wee hours of the morning.

I told my brother and the rest of his friends to talk to his mom about what had been going on and advised them to seek professional help for Z. So they went to his mom and while they were there they heard over the radio about a young man who was trying to kill himself.

At home, my mother was also listening to the radio. We all tried to hope that it wasn’t him. Some confusion arose because a certain boy whose name sounded closely alike to Z’s was also missing. But after all the drama, we found out that it was indeed Z.

Some would say a lot of disparaging things about Z. Even his friends tried to draw away from him when he started to act weird. They mistrusted him and instead of taking his symptoms seriously, he was turned away. His mother, by all accounts, seemed detached and unconcerned. Although we may never know her side of the story, still I can’t help but feel that she could have done something more.

I am concerned. These things happen. Depression, anxiety: words we sometimes use instinctively and yet we never quiet realize what it means until something like this happens to one of our own.

A few months back I attended a seminar on Psychological First Aid and I tried to review the handouts. I also did a little research and here’s a little something worth sharing:

Psychological First Aid (PFA) is “a description of a humane, supportive response to a fellow human being who is suffering and who may need support.” Most of the literature would suggest that PFA is administered to traumatic events that often involve threat to life and safety. However, emotional or psychological trauma can be generalized to experiences that make you feel terrified, helpless, unprepared, or alone. Not all such experiences lead to long lasting emotional or psychological distress; most will decrease naturally over time without need of external intervention.

Surprisingly, psychological first aid does not require professional training and in fact “people who are empathetic, motivated and willing can apply it without training, while others may need very basic training.” And it is most useful because it aims to create and sustain an environment of: 1) safety, 2) calm, 3) connectedness to others, 4) self-efficacy or empowerment, and 5) hope.

The seminar enumerated the following steps in administering PFA:

1. Provide opportunity to talk about the events but without pressure.

· Respect the wish not to talk and avoid pushing for more information than the person may be ready to give
· Listen in an accepting and non-judgmental manner

2. Identify basic practical needs and ensure that these are met

3. Discourage negative ways of coping – specifically through the use of alcohol or other substances

4. Encourage participation in normal daily routines (if possible) and use of positive means of coping

5. Encourage, but not force, company from one or more family member or
friends

6. Protect from further harm.

I’ve also found the following materials online. Please take time to scan them as they may prove handy one of these days:

· Courage to Care – 2 page fact sheet from the Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences on PFA
· PFA for First Responders – Tips for emergency and disaster response workers
· Listen, Protect, and Connect - PFA for children, parents, and caregivers
· Listen, Protect, and Connect - Model & Teach – PFA for students and teachers.

I hope in some ways this article will encourage you to reach out to those people in your life who may need help. Even just to talk to them and assuage their anxiety or just be there and listen to their woes.