i've been obsessing over something lately. a simple curiosity about a specific person that has been fueled by circumstance and opportunity, and slowly cemented by undesirable negative emotions.
i'm not proud of it. it's out of character for me. yet, i find no small amount of guilty pleasure when i indulge in it.
but, the more i find myself dipping into that sordid well of unhealthy curiosity, the more i realise that it's going to lead into something dangerous, for my mental well being and mayhap for my relationships.
writing about it brings a measure of relief. perhaps, the fact that no one knows about it is one of the reason why i have held on to it for quite a time. no one knows so it can't do any harm, right? well, i'm finding out otherwise. the more i keep doing it in secret, the worse i feel everytime.
so this is one small step for me. i am taking myself in hand. next step will be telling someone about it. hopefully, i'll get over this... soon.
Showing posts with label Psych Ako. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Psych Ako. Show all posts
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Friday, July 31, 2009
on egos
quoting someone: small town with small minds and big egos...
if i take a freudian stand on this, i can say: my ego is too busy playing referee to my id and superego to take notice of anybody else's.
adlerian constructs would point out that they probably need help mastering socially acceptable means of coping with their feelings of superiority. or perhaps, they have the "wrong" kind of superiority feelings.
the point is...grad school has made an impact on me... hahahah
that's my ego talking right there!
:P
if i take a freudian stand on this, i can say: my ego is too busy playing referee to my id and superego to take notice of anybody else's.
adlerian constructs would point out that they probably need help mastering socially acceptable means of coping with their feelings of superiority. or perhaps, they have the "wrong" kind of superiority feelings.
the point is...grad school has made an impact on me... hahahah
that's my ego talking right there!
:P
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Coping Responsibly
Nosebleed post muna. Reaction paper ko ito for one of my classes. Desperate measures na.. haven't updated in a while so ito na lang.
*******
“How can you apply your mind to solving the problem when the problem is your mind?”
I recall this question from the movie A Beautiful Mind when I recall our visit to the Psychiatric Ward of the Provincial Hospital last February 21, 2009. It sums up quiet well the illness that afflicts one out of five Filipinos (http://gmanews.tv/).
It dawned on me the reality that mental illness is much like any other bodily ailment that we can contract through our exposure to the stresses of modern living: a cold or flu virus, a rash from allergens, high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer. Yet, I feel an exceptional aversion to the picture that any one of us is at risk of losing our minds and, essentially, control over our volition and lucid thoughts. More so than the concern I may feel with any other illness.
I have always been of the belief that what I am is a product of what I think. My success or failure, accomplishments, and sense of self-worth is dictated by my concept of self and personal awareness of my environment and how I react to it. The idea that our own mind can defeat us is as scary as the idea that a serial killer is at my door. It makes me feel unsafe, unprotected, and totally vulnerable.
At the hospital I observed different cases of mental illness and the state it reduced its victims to. Some of them needed to be restrained in their beds because they exhibited violent tendencies, some had IV drips because they refuse to eat or drink, some were scared of the hallucinations they experience, some were totally lost in their fantasies, while some talk as lucidly as you or I and yet talk of alien abduction as though it were as common as rainfall.
Honestly, I was not at ease with the state that the patients where in. The ward itself was unkempt and badly needed repairs. There was a big hole in the ceiling of the male ward that leaked and the beds were not even hospital issue and looked quiet uncomfortable.
I wondered how they could possibly get well in such an unhealthy looking environment. This as much as anything else reflects the mind-set of Philippine society with regards mental illness.
I hear stories of patients who are treated no better than animals by their care-takers. I see cases of individuals who roam the city streets, sleeping underneath shrubberies and relieving themselves in full view of passersby. I feel pity for them, true. Still, I cannot imagine how their families feel. How would it be like to see your loved one slowly degenerate into a mindless mass of incomprehensible fantasies?
I shiver at the thought.
This brings us to the question of how to prevent mental illness. And the answer is to practice mental hygiene. In essence, this would require a basic understanding of the self and how a person reacts and interacts with his environment; adaption of certain forms of relaxation technique or adjustment behavior such as a hobby or exercise; a healthy lifestyle; a sound assessment of personal capabilities; and, the existence of a support group in the form of family, friends, or significant others.
Most of us would go through life unmindful of the risks we face in terms of illness and disease. This is not necessarily bad. Being too preoccupied with the thought that we can get sick or fearing illness is in certain cases an illness by itself. But, living a healthy life would entail that we have a definition of what health is. This would then result to adaption of appropriate behaviors parallel to the concept of being healthy.
For instance, we know that to be healthy means that we take care of our body. This taking care of our body can be in the form of avoiding smoking or excessive drinking, or having an exercise regimen, or food preference. Likewise, if we think that having a sound mind means having an appropriate mental handle on our stressors, then we would be able to actively engage in practices that can relieve such stressors and/or acquiring a mind-set that can strengthen our coping skills.
Interestingly, some people who are so absorbed in taking control of their life are in fact applying additional pressures on themselves. This is because we forget the basic truth that we are not in control of our life. Change can and will happen regardless of how much we resist (or welcome) it.
Sometimes, all we need do is be aware of how we react to situations and being able to handle how we deal with it. For some this can be done by prayer, or taking slow, deep breaths. Personally, when I encounter frustrating situations I sometimes say to myself, “Patience is a virtue” over and over until I can control my emotions.
Of course, there are a lot of self-help books and resources in the internet that tackles adjustment and coping. One good site (www.GuideToPsychology.com) I stumbled across gave a sound advice when encountering frustrations:
I think this is a good reminder that sometimes we just need to let go. That in order to have a stress reduced life we have to take responsibility of our self and adjust calmly to frustrations.
*******
“How can you apply your mind to solving the problem when the problem is your mind?”
I recall this question from the movie A Beautiful Mind when I recall our visit to the Psychiatric Ward of the Provincial Hospital last February 21, 2009. It sums up quiet well the illness that afflicts one out of five Filipinos (http://gmanews.tv/).
It dawned on me the reality that mental illness is much like any other bodily ailment that we can contract through our exposure to the stresses of modern living: a cold or flu virus, a rash from allergens, high blood pressure, diabetes, cancer. Yet, I feel an exceptional aversion to the picture that any one of us is at risk of losing our minds and, essentially, control over our volition and lucid thoughts. More so than the concern I may feel with any other illness.
I have always been of the belief that what I am is a product of what I think. My success or failure, accomplishments, and sense of self-worth is dictated by my concept of self and personal awareness of my environment and how I react to it. The idea that our own mind can defeat us is as scary as the idea that a serial killer is at my door. It makes me feel unsafe, unprotected, and totally vulnerable.
At the hospital I observed different cases of mental illness and the state it reduced its victims to. Some of them needed to be restrained in their beds because they exhibited violent tendencies, some had IV drips because they refuse to eat or drink, some were scared of the hallucinations they experience, some were totally lost in their fantasies, while some talk as lucidly as you or I and yet talk of alien abduction as though it were as common as rainfall.
Honestly, I was not at ease with the state that the patients where in. The ward itself was unkempt and badly needed repairs. There was a big hole in the ceiling of the male ward that leaked and the beds were not even hospital issue and looked quiet uncomfortable.
I wondered how they could possibly get well in such an unhealthy looking environment. This as much as anything else reflects the mind-set of Philippine society with regards mental illness.
I hear stories of patients who are treated no better than animals by their care-takers. I see cases of individuals who roam the city streets, sleeping underneath shrubberies and relieving themselves in full view of passersby. I feel pity for them, true. Still, I cannot imagine how their families feel. How would it be like to see your loved one slowly degenerate into a mindless mass of incomprehensible fantasies?
I shiver at the thought.
This brings us to the question of how to prevent mental illness. And the answer is to practice mental hygiene. In essence, this would require a basic understanding of the self and how a person reacts and interacts with his environment; adaption of certain forms of relaxation technique or adjustment behavior such as a hobby or exercise; a healthy lifestyle; a sound assessment of personal capabilities; and, the existence of a support group in the form of family, friends, or significant others.
Most of us would go through life unmindful of the risks we face in terms of illness and disease. This is not necessarily bad. Being too preoccupied with the thought that we can get sick or fearing illness is in certain cases an illness by itself. But, living a healthy life would entail that we have a definition of what health is. This would then result to adaption of appropriate behaviors parallel to the concept of being healthy.
For instance, we know that to be healthy means that we take care of our body. This taking care of our body can be in the form of avoiding smoking or excessive drinking, or having an exercise regimen, or food preference. Likewise, if we think that having a sound mind means having an appropriate mental handle on our stressors, then we would be able to actively engage in practices that can relieve such stressors and/or acquiring a mind-set that can strengthen our coping skills.
Interestingly, some people who are so absorbed in taking control of their life are in fact applying additional pressures on themselves. This is because we forget the basic truth that we are not in control of our life. Change can and will happen regardless of how much we resist (or welcome) it.
Sometimes, all we need do is be aware of how we react to situations and being able to handle how we deal with it. For some this can be done by prayer, or taking slow, deep breaths. Personally, when I encounter frustrating situations I sometimes say to myself, “Patience is a virtue” over and over until I can control my emotions.
Of course, there are a lot of self-help books and resources in the internet that tackles adjustment and coping. One good site (www.GuideToPsychology.com) I stumbled across gave a sound advice when encountering frustrations:
“When feeling frustrated, instead of getting angry at the situation or at others, sit back, relax, and wait. Say to yourself:
As things develop, I will, through listening to guidance from my unconscious, adapt to changing circumstances and grow with them.
I may not get what I want when I want it; I trust that things will work out in their own good time, for my ultimate benefit, as long as I remain calm and peaceful.
I may not get what I want at all, and yet, in remaining calm and attentive, I may discover something else that I need even more than what I thought I wanted.”
(Richmond, 1999)
I think this is a good reminder that sometimes we just need to let go. That in order to have a stress reduced life we have to take responsibility of our self and adjust calmly to frustrations.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Tinatamad ka rin ba?
Di ko alam kung bakit nkakaranas na naman ako nang katamaran at kawalan ng gana sa mga bagay bagay. Ito narin ang rason at bakit hindi na ako nakaka-post ng bago dito sa blog ko. Meron naman akong mga ideas at articles na na prepara, pero... ewan!
Kung sa salita pa ni Slackaholic, "Just tired of it all... sometimes."
At ang definition ng ALL ng itanong ko: "all. you know, everything. hehe. plain ol' every thing."
*sigh* haaay....
*******
But it got me thinking. What if depression na to?!! (praning mode)
So, naghalungkat ako sa mga notes ko at may nakita akong questionnaire tungkol sa pag-alam ng psychiatric disturbances specifically: depression and/or anxiety. Nakita ko ang General Health Questionnaire (GHQ 12) at sinagot ko ito para maalam kung kelangan na nga ba akong magpakunsulta sa propesyunal.
Etoh sya:
At ito ang sagot ko:
1. C 2. B 3. C 4. B 5. C 6. B
7. C 8. B 9. C 10. B 11. A 12. B
Eto ang scoring: A-B = 0, C-D = 1
Kapag nakakuha ka ng score na 7 pataas ibig sabihin ay "high probability" na meron kang psychological disturbance at pwede nang i-refer sa propesyunal...!
Hmmmn... Buti naman at 5 lang ang score ko ngayon. Kelangan lang siguro nang kunting counseling (read: barkada intervention. bwahahaha). Pero mas mataas ito kasi ng una ko itong sinagot mga tatlong buwan na ang nakalipas, zero (0) ang score ko.
*******
At para sa isang tao na bumibigay ng lunas sa mga emosyunal at psychotic na kababalaghan sa buhay ko, may gusto akong sabihin sa'yo:
"I hate that i miss you. It's one of the few things i don't like about you. But something's gotta balance out this unhealthy reliance i have on your soothing words of wisdom and, dare i say it, loving tolerance of my personal weakness. For all the truth we share, sometimes it's better that we keep some secrets to ourself as well, and a little distance to maintain some perspective. Otherwise, we'd end up in a dangerous place..."
Salamat.
(~_^)
Kung sa salita pa ni Slackaholic, "Just tired of it all... sometimes."
At ang definition ng ALL ng itanong ko: "all. you know, everything. hehe. plain ol' every thing."
*sigh* haaay....
*******
But it got me thinking. What if depression na to?!! (praning mode)
So, naghalungkat ako sa mga notes ko at may nakita akong questionnaire tungkol sa pag-alam ng psychiatric disturbances specifically: depression and/or anxiety. Nakita ko ang General Health Questionnaire (GHQ 12) at sinagot ko ito para maalam kung kelangan na nga ba akong magpakunsulta sa propesyunal.
Etoh sya:
At ito ang sagot ko:
1. C 2. B 3. C 4. B 5. C 6. B
7. C 8. B 9. C 10. B 11. A 12. B
Eto ang scoring: A-B = 0, C-D = 1
Kapag nakakuha ka ng score na 7 pataas ibig sabihin ay "high probability" na meron kang psychological disturbance at pwede nang i-refer sa propesyunal...!
Hmmmn... Buti naman at 5 lang ang score ko ngayon. Kelangan lang siguro nang kunting counseling (read: barkada intervention. bwahahaha). Pero mas mataas ito kasi ng una ko itong sinagot mga tatlong buwan na ang nakalipas, zero (0) ang score ko.
*******
At para sa isang tao na bumibigay ng lunas sa mga emosyunal at psychotic na kababalaghan sa buhay ko, may gusto akong sabihin sa'yo:
"I hate that i miss you. It's one of the few things i don't like about you. But something's gotta balance out this unhealthy reliance i have on your soothing words of wisdom and, dare i say it, loving tolerance of my personal weakness. For all the truth we share, sometimes it's better that we keep some secrets to ourself as well, and a little distance to maintain some perspective. Otherwise, we'd end up in a dangerous place..."
Salamat.
(~_^)
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