dot dot dot

photo by Victor Nuno


when this year started, i never imagined how it would all turn out. i remembered feeling optimistic and excited about it (near euphoria truth be known)... and now that it's coming to an end, i feel a little bit nostalgic. it has been an eventful year. and ironically still, this has been a most boring christmas for me. maybe that's just the universe telling me to slow down a bit, eh?



december 24...

• regular work day for me. busy, lots of people coming in and out of my office since it was pay day and people were getting their payslips. prepared some documents that the boss didn't get to sign (too late).
• got sentimental at the thought of not having any celebration at home. almost bawled my eyes out while chatting with joy.
• had my sister come pick me up at the office so we could have dinner out. just the two of us at home. she came just in time to cheer me up.
• dropped by Jet's and had dinner with him too. yeay! that was a high point. and... i saw eX3. woow! that was cool! chatted for a while and then went home.
• my sister went to mass with her bf so i went to bed early. slept through christmas countdown...

december 25...

• woke up around 9 am and had raisin bread, scrambled eggs, spaghetti (from the cousins next door), and coffee for breakfast.
• watched 4 episodes of prisonbreak's season 3 (care of good ol' Jet)
• noon time i had to prepare to go home to roxas. the bus "konduktor" asked, "studyante, miss?" wahahahahahaha oh boy! that made my day alright! that and the cute guy across the aisle looked up to see my answer. (lol) he went off at Passi... tsk tsk tsk... too bad.
• spent the 3 hours travel time watching Mummy 1 and half of Mummy 2 (Scorpion King). had a good laugh at least.
• arrived at Gramma's hungry and headachey. lunch was lechon and bread, with a banana for dessert... at 4:50 in the afternoon... sweet!
  

... and spent the next two and half days lazing around my Gramma's house watching tv, playing computer games, reading, and getting my fingertips blistered practicing "is it okay if i call you mine" on the guitar...


*******


while at my Gramma's i had a couple of alleluia moments.

i realized that i had grown away from their tight little world. their life revolved around their daily routine. and they had no other concern except that they be able to keep their delicate bubble of self-righteous contentment. they talk of events and grudges that happened over a year ago like it was just yesterday. they count the centavos and pesos that they spent over the blessings and people that they could make happy. they remember the bitter and acrid taste of insults over the sweet smiles and sincere thank yous that they encounter...

it makes me sad. and it made me understand them a little bit better. but it also scared me. because i knew that their way of life could as easily be mine and that their pessimistic and self-righteous words could still seep into my heart like slow poison...


*******

back at home.

everyone's excited about the new year. there's going to be a neighborhood party. thanksgiving mass, gift-giving for the children...

aaah, this is the spirit of christmas i'd been missing. the willingness to share, even from those with so little. yes... it gives me hope...

a fitting end to the old year. and a welcome beginning for the new one.